get panini pressed, idiot

i am EVIL!!! no I don't want to join your found family please go away,,

I'm literally pointing a death lazer at you

*sobs*

stop asking about my dad

"Stop being funnier than me on my own post" is one of my favorite healthy tumblrisms, along with things like "hang on lemme look that up...yeah this is funny" and explicit tone indicators (positive). Like yeah let's build a world where we playfully format healthy interactions. You made a post and you wanted to be the star but damn, you've really gotta hand it to this other person for their really funny addition, so here's the internet equivalent of giving someone a friendly punch on the shoulder while making sure they know they got a good grade in social interaction

tags from coloredcompulsion:

“Could you be the chosen one?”

“I am very much the guy who’s here.”

Loving reminder from your land history auntie:

North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.

Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.

Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.

the daily planet putting out filler articles like “top 10 times the daily planet globe was removed by in a metropolis alien invasion event”

sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs

• World is hard, scary, confusing
• Needs not being met
• Little to no control over my environment
• Overwhelmed and need some release
• Desperately want a nap

Yeah, that checks out

Okay so I did some research, very basic research, on the user base of tumblr and how many of us there are.

There are at least 300 million unique visitors worldwide on this site. Over 500 million blogs.

Listen. Tumblr is $30 million in debt. This is Super easy for us to solve.

If each user gifts one blog crabs, which costs slightly over $3, that would be roughly $600 million at least. Far more than enough to get Tumblr out of the red zone.

If we want tumblr to stay afloat and not change something as integral about their operating system, we need to show them they can be profitable without reducing themselves to common social media sites. What we have here is special. It is different. We are the social media site people run to when theirs collapses and for good reason.

If we want this to work, we have to make it work. We can even make it into a game. Just how long can we outlast the other social media sites?

Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

It needs to be a holiday. Pick a date a few weeks from now, and just make it Crab Day. Maybe a Saturday as a lot of people are paid on Fridays. Just in case this post becomes more popular than any I've had before, lets set the date as the last Saturday in July (which for us in 2023 will be July 29th.)

On July 29th, gift as many crabs as you can without breaking the bank. Post crab memes if you cannot afford a crab.

Tumblr can pull this off. Tumblr likes doing things like this.

Guys there's an account for this now @crab-day-counter

LET! SCOTT! KISS! WOLVERINE!

Rumiko Takahashi, "The Art Of Ranma 1/2", 2001

I think that 2023 is a good time for many of us, and allies in particular, to practice again the dying art of minding our own fucking business when it comes to the identities and lives of other people.

You see someone from one of your classes in a public place with a different gender presentation/expression than they typically have? Mind your own business.

You discover that one of your coworkers is in a same gender relationship, but they aren't out at work? Not your place to share that information in the workplace.

You notice that your neighbor in a red state takes a road trip across state lines with their transgender child every 3-6 months? No you fucking didn't.

You overhear students in your classroom using a different name and different pronouns for one student than you are used to using? If you live in a state hostile to trans rights, pretend that you don't know anything about this and report nothing.

You suspect that an acquaintance of yours might be gay, but they deny it when asked directly? Leave them the fuck alone.

One of your friends refuses to publicly label their sexuality? Good for them, you aren't entitled to that information anyway.

Your sibling comes out to you as questioning, but isn't comfortable sharing that with your parents yet? Keep your fucking mouth shut.

Don't out people; coming out is a personal choice not a moral obligation. Don't demand personal information about other people's sexuality or sex lives. You aren't entitled to information about anyone's gender identity, assigned gender at birth, or transition.

Bring back privacy, allow people to have control over the information that is shared about them publicly; it might save their job, their housing, their parental rights and their child's safety, or even save lives.